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Friday, March 30, 2018

Letter to my Sons

Dear Boys,

I love you both. We have to talk about what happens in the bathroom, though. I am beginning to regret that we ever taught you how to pee standing up. In fact, if you could start sitting down when you pee, that would be great. 

Do you remember when I showed you the Clorox wipes under the sink so that when you peed on the seat, you could wipe it up? I would really appreciate it if you started using those wipes when you pee on the seat. And just for the record, I really don't think it's your sister peeing on the seat. 

I am not sure how the amount of pee that doesn't make it into the toilet seems to go unnoticed. I feel like I missed the toilet by that much, I would know. Do you know how many times I have wondered, "How did the pee get all the way over here?" Please aim. While we are at it, your overall focus could be so much better in there. Think about getting it INTO the toilet. I have Cheerios you can use to help you aim if you would like. 

I wipe up a lot of pee. Pee on the toilet seat, the wall, the floor. I would like to not have to clean up that much PEE so that I have time to do other, more meaningful things. In fact, maybe it is time for you to learn how to clean the bathroom. Yes. It is time. I will contact you soon to set up your bathroom-cleaning-training. 

Thank you for your assistance in this manner. 

Much love,

Mom



7 comments:

  1. I think this letter should be sent to every mom that has boys. There's probably not even one who hasn't experienced the frustration of poor aim or just poor attention to detail. I think you came up with the perfect solution, teach them how to clean the bathroom!

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  2. Anyone w/ boys will appreciate this post. “I have Cheerios to help you aim” has me in stitches. Yes, it’s time for those boys to join the cleaning crew.

    Last night I was looking through old posts and found one I wrote last year about my male colleagues leaving the toilet seat up in the shared faculty restrooms. Gross.

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  3. So funny! In my house, everybody pees sitting down and it makes a huge difference. I have no idea how my husband convinced my son that that was the way to go, but I am eternally grateful!!!! Of course, learning how to clean the bathroom is a great idea too!

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  4. You had me at "toilet seat" when you posted your link. This is so funny/not funny. I'm dying to know how old your kids are!!!

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  5. As a mom of two sons now ages 24 and 26 I still remember those days well (okay, only because they have moved out is it not a current issue). Sorry- hope they improve!

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  6. One year for Mother’s Day I asked for a Shark steam cleaner. He was potty training at the time, and the toilet seat would have been an improvement.

    I totally get it.

    Good luck with the new kind of training!

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